The Zany Adventures of Frieza's men
by Queen Kold
Summary: Just a funny story I did. It takes place on Frieza's ship and follows the lives of Nappa, Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Zarbon, Dorodia...ect.


**The Zany Adventures of Frieza's men and perhaps Frieza himself**

**The New Recruit**

_It was dark, cold, rainy day. In the shadows lurked an evil master of the universe, threatening to take over the entire world._

"Nappa, stop writing love stories and focus on more important things." Vegeta snorted. Nappa looked up from his computer and scowled. "They aren't love stories! Tell me, does that even look like the beginning of a romance novel?" "No, actually it looks like you're writing about Lord Frieza and how much you love him." Vegeta laughed. "Oh, and besides that, I didn't know you knew how to spell! Or even read for that matter, good job Nappa"  
Nappa was growing tired of Vegeta's constant insults. It wasn't that it hurt Nappa's feelings, it was just annoying. Ever since the Prince had been old enough to talk he had seemed to chide Nappa in everyway possible. It was embarrassing to say the least, after all Nappa was a former Commander, and three times the Prince's age. "Vegeta, leave me the hell alone, would you?" Nappa said. "I get bored, so I have to find something to occupy my time. By the way, this isn't a story about Frieza!" Vegeta snorted. "Calm down Nappa before you give yourself another hernia." Vegeta said. "Honestly, I was just joking! Learn to take one!" Nappa opened his mouth and was about to protest again when Raditz cam bursting in.

"Guys, you've...got...to... Come...see." Raditz said in slow bursts of words. He was clearly out of breath and was holding his side. "Raditz, did you finally learn your ABC's or something?" Vegeta asked. "No dumbass, there is a really hot woman in the training facility." Raditz said with a sly smile. "Did you just call me a dumbass?" Vegeta retorted. He punched Raditz in the gut. Raditz cried out and kneeled over. "Sorry my Prince." He gasped. Vegeta pushed passed Raditz and went out the corridor. Nappa was curious as well and followed the Prince. After a brief walk through the hall Nappa and Vegeta spotted the woman Raditz had spoke of. She was leaning against the wall talking to Zarbon. Her hair was golden blond, and her skin was bluish colored, not unlike Zarbon's skin. Her eyes were Sapphire blue, and shone in the lighting of the hallway. Vegeta made a face, and turned the other way. Nappa however was standing there, mouth halfway open. Vegeta elbowed him in the side. Nappa closed his mouth, and looked down at the Prince. "What?" He whispered. "Stop standing there with your mouth hanging open like you've never seen an alien woman before." Vegeta hissed. "She's not all that great; in fact she looks like Zarbon. It's sickening." Nappa knew Vegeta had a strong dislike for Zarbon, Nappa didn't like him much either. But Nappa still didn't know what it had to do with the woman. He thought for a moment, and realized that perhaps Vegeta already thought Zarbon had won her over. He figured that was why perhaps Vegeta wasn't interested. Vegeta walked away, leaving Nappa standing in the hall. Soon Zarbon stopped talking to the woman and left the hallway as well. Nappa realized the woman was now alone, but he couldn't get the guts up to talk to her. She was now walking towards him, but she didn't seem to be actually seeing him. He stood there, still and quiet, watching her as she passed him. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere Raditz burst out of the room Nappa and Vegeta had previously been in. He ended up right in front of the woman. "Hey there." He said. Nappa almost burst out laughing because when Raditz opened his mouth his voice came out all squeaky. Raditz turned bright red, turned around and ran down the hall. Nappa laughed. "Teenagers." He said. The woman turned her head, and looked at Nappa. "I didn't know Lord Frieza hired Teenagers to fight for him." She said. Nappa shrugged. "They've been here since they were children." He said. "We are the last remaining Saiyans. The Saiyans were a strong..." Nappa stopped short as the woman simply turned away from him and walked away.

After several hours of cussing under his breath Nappa finally found Vegeta again. He was lying on his bed reading a book. "Hey, Vegeta maybe you were right about that woman, she seems like a bitch." Nappa said. Vegeta laughed and shut the book he was reading. "Dugh Nappa, she was talking to Zarbon, what do you expect?" Vegeta said. "Besides that, why would she be interested in you, just look at you! You're old and bald"  
"I'm only 40." Nappa said in a low voice. Vegeta was starting to get on his nerves again. "Only 40..." Vegeta snickered. "Tell me, are most 40 year olds bald?" "You're the one that shaved my head!" Nappa retorted. "You know as well as I do Saiyans can't grow back their hair!" Vegeta laughed again. "Nappa, as I said before you really need to learn to take jokes!" Nappa rolled his eyes. "Tell me Vegeta, when are you ever going to take anything seriously"  
"I take fighting seriously, that's good enough." Vegeta said. "Now lighten up and let's go get drunk"  
"Last time I let you get drunk you wrecked a space pod and Frieza was pissed!" Nappa argued.  
"But if you remember correctly, you also got drunk. You got sick and when you tried vomiting you did your special attack and blew up the toilet! It took the plumber a week to fix the damage you caused!" Nappa turned bright red in the face. Vegeta hit him on the arm. "Calm down Nappa, now are we going to get drunk or what?


End file.
